It has been way too long since I have shared anything here with anyone. I could make all sorts of excuses but that would be exactly what they are, excuses. It is time to get back to writing, to sharing some of what I have learned with those of you silly enough to read it! So, I have pulled out my list of “ideas” and though provoking concepts and will do my best to post on something more regularly. The writer in me is screaming to get out!
This morning I saw this quote on a friends Facebook page; “Never make someone your priority when you are merely their convenience.” My first thought was for my friend; I am so sorry she is experiencing this! My second thought was, “Wait a minute! I live in this as well!” Reflecting on this concept can be disheartening when you come to the realization that there are people in your life that you have given priority to but who cannot give that same priority in return. We get caught up in what is “fair,” what we would like to think of as reciprocity in relationships. I get that, really. When we feel used by another the hurt is great, overwhelming, and we move to protect ourselves by pulling back, removing ourselves from the relationship or “turning off” our care for that person (as if turning off feelings were as simple as turning off the running water!)
Can we look at this differently? I think so. First, let’s look at John 13:34: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” One phrase there really convicts me! “just as I have loved you.” Did Christ expect the return of His love in equal measure? No, He knew the disciples were incapable of understanding that. Sheesh, the losers couldn’t even stay awake and pray with him in Gethsemane! The one thing He directly asked of them and they failed! What kind of friends were they!? But He loved them. He is our example in this, as in all things. We are God’s priority, not because we can do anything for Him or have anything to offer Him but simply because He loves us. We are not “convenient” as we are poor, sinful, covered in the stain of our humanness. We are often difficult to love as we destroy ourselves, each other, the creation given to us…but yet, we are loved, with an everlasting, enduring, complete love that does not measure what we can offer in return or how far down we place Him on our list of priorities.
Simply because another human being cannot put us at the top of their priority list, does this mean we should not put loving them at the top of ours? No. We are to love. What is more, loving those close to you is a constant choice. It is not easy, like choosing your favorite food. Loving is a daily choice to think beyond yourself to those around you and doing what you can, in love, to be what they need you to be. We make choices every day; to love is one of them. Some days it is as easy and wonderful as ice cream on a hot summer day. Other days it is as painful and frustrating and even hurtful as physical therapy after surgery; not fun but you know it is necessary. If you are choosing to love those who cannot love you in return, you have a choice there as well. It is not, however, not to love them. It is how you live in that love; in a withdrawn and distant manner, or face-to-face, fully and openly, allowing yourself to be hurt by that person who possibly cannot love in return. How does our Lord love us? Use that as your example. Yeah…I’m ashamed as well. It is time to love.
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