The Question

So, the big question is: why do people hold grudges against Christians and the church? What a great question! Several bloggers are addressing this issue so if you'd like to read more responses, check out http://whygrudge.blogspot.com

As with must human beings, there is no simple answer. As someone born and raised in the Lutheran Church (specifically the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod), educated in the same, and struggling with my own religious issues at times, I can see both sides of the question. First, let me try to gain some historical perspective on the church in general, as I see it before I go on to comment on some more social or personal issues.

Historically we sense (sense is perception, not fact!) that the church has been the setter of rules, the punisher of wrong-doings, the “enforcer” of traditions, etc. Lives were lived in relation to the regulations set down by the church. These rules include, for some denominations, public confession, penance, judgment, and even the purchasing of indulgences (forgiveness) at points in time. This is not an assumption that the Gospel did not exist, only that our perceptions today of the church in the past is one of law. The perception is that judgment of a person as a whole was based on behaviors or perceived sin, not on their relationship with God or the simple fact that every human being is a loved and adored child of the living God, no matter their state.

Let’s be realistic, “churches” expects things. Ideally, churches would like to expect an investment of their member’s time, the donation of money, and the involvement of your talents. The expectation can be high depending on the size of the congregation. Many are turned off by the church’s constant request for “more,” whether that be more money (larger offerings), more of our time (committees, volunteerism, etc.) or more investment of our skills (“you know how to do this, can you do it for church?”) When these expectations become too much and too overwhelming, members can become bitter and angry and wish only to separate themselves from the organization. Unfortunately, that one experience colors our perception of the whole and we stay away from church altogether.

Now, for many who grew up as part of a healthy and active congregational life, the idea of “church” is one of family. This is where Christian nurturing happens, where we are fed God’s Word, given care and support. For others, the connotation of church is that place where they have been judged, where sinful natures are exposed and where our depravity and distance from God is brought to light for all to see. Many see the church as an institution whose purpose it is to control their lives, to impose rules (commandments) and authority over their freedom. Instead of an outreach, the church is then seen as the judge and the controller. The already-given gift of salvation is overshadowed by the idea that “if I am part of an organized church, this is how I must behave” thus people keep away, not wanting anyone telling them how to behave. We are a stubborn people! So, in reality the connotation or emotional meaning surrounding the word “church” can be either horribly negative or extremely positive depending on a person’s experiences or what they have heard from others regarding the same. Thus, everyone’s reason is vastly different.

From personal experience I can share my own perceptions…in recent years in my life the reality has been that the organized church (Lutheran, Catholic, whatever!) has become unfocused. There are some church leaders who seem more concerned with the acquisition of “power” and authority than with the God-given purpose of the church; the spreading of the Gospel and the truth that God would have all men (people!) be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth.

Church leaders have become political leaders, running the organized church by sets of rules and regulations not found in scripture but in their interpretation of same. We have to remember that any church is run by sinful human beings, flawed yet saved members of the body of Christ. Sometimes these sinful men (because women don’t get leadership roles in the LCMS!) have a skewed perspective and work hard to “enforce” their own adiaphora. This is done in place of the churches true mission, to share the Gospel. Something that is adiaphora is not essential to your salvation thus, when we are commanded to ‘love one another as Christ loves you,’ it is not based on any judgment of their sexual preferences, their relational status, their behaviors, etc. The command is simply to love. The “rules” regarding how we think and judge others are simply rules set down by an organized church body. Instead of loving others, we feel free to condemn them because of perceived sins, behavioral differences, etc. Scripture commands us to love. Yet we do it poorly. Scripture also commands us to “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” Yet, this we do quite well. As you can imagine, these leaders can easily alienate members, driving from the church feeling judged and hurt by a “law oriented” perspective.

So, there are many reasons people remove themselves from the church including what I call “Church Burn Out,” feeling judged, seeing church as an organization of “rules” and not wanting to be a part of that. These are only a few of the realities of the situation. The next question in my mind; what are we going to do to change people’s perceptions and bring the sheep back to the church?