Being Average

I’ve always wanted to be a poet. But what constitutes a poet? Dictionary.com defines it this way: A person who composes poetry or, a person who has the gift of poetic thought, imagination, and creation, together with eloquence of expression. Well, I write poetry. Some good, some really bad…but honestly, I have never had the courage to share it with many people. I think after all these years I have figured out one thing, my poetry is probably more for my own expression than for public consumption. It probably sucks!  It will never make me famous; it will never speak to the masses. I have no affinity for creating beautiful pictures and no one will ever say “what a gorgeous turn of phrase” about something I write. Let’s face it, I am not a poet.

I’ve also wanted to be a musician. I love music. I love to sing, to listen, to hear and understand. I love the freedom of falling into a beautiful piece of music, of being carried away, letting the music take me wherever it may. I admire those who can create such beauty. I admire those who can work a group (instrumental or vocal) to that point of expressing what is created on the page. I can sing with a modicum of success. I have little knowledge of music’s awesome history or the immense theory behind it. I can read notes, and sometimes I can keep time. Once things get complicated I must rely on others to pound the rhythms into my head. I do memorize well and have a decent grasp of languages so that aspect comes more easily but still, I am not proficient. No one will ever look to me to write a great piece of music or sing a glorious aria. I am no musician.

I’ve always wanted to be…more. I know I am not alone here...most human beings want to be greater than they are, to excell at sometime. To be honest, I suffer from a lack of tangible excellence. I have an abundance of average. I have longed to bring beauty and peace to the world around me but seem to lack the capacity for this. I desire to be greater, bring more. It as if I am a piano unplayed...of what true worth am I if I only sit and am admired. My usefulness is untapped and I am unfulfilled.

What does this truly say about me? I am neither poet, not poem. I am neither musician nor music. I am neither the song nor the dance…So, since I find myself less than noteworthy in any respect, what am I? Well, the answer is this. I am ME. I am average and basic and un-extraordinary…BUT (and this is the big part!) I am still useful. I don’t need to be grandiose! God can use me as ordinary as I am. Pretty awesome!

I am reminded of the lyrics of a song from the musical Little Women – “With you, I am more, more than I am.” With God I am always more than I am. I won’t be those things I am not meant to be but I will be more than a “mere” sinful human being. I can be strong and wonderful in those skills He has graciously given. I may never be a poet or a musician or famous for anything or bring wonder and beauty to the world BUT…I can touch my small corner, I can bring Him into my daily life and allow His spirit to touch the people I encounter along the way.

So, while the dreams of greatness lay scattered by the roadside, the realities of this journey as an average human being are not something I choose to bemoan. I will celebrate them daily in the knowledge that my averageness, my very basic humanity allows me to be the best ME I can be. There will come a time when I will be "more," when my voice will join those of the angels and I will become that poet, musician, writer, composer...all those longings will be fulfilled. Until then, I am me. That’s enough for now.