Ever have one of those days when you are simply "blue" for no apparent reason? I hate these days!

Students are coming to campus; the excitement in the air is palpable. Seeing new faces and getting hugs from those returners who are close to me is great. So, why is there that ache, that tingle of sadness behind my eyes?

This time of year always makes me mindful of those students who have passed through these halls and my life in the past. It makes me yearn for the days when I was that student; when life was as simple and as complicated as wondering if that boy liked me or if there were chicken patty sandwiches for dinner. It takes me back to that smell of books and the feel of a newly sharpened pencil in my hand.

I found a picture the other day that made me pause. My mother took it the day they dropped me off at my second college destination. I had been before but the first college was only 45 minutes from home so I was "close." This new school was 5 hours away, larger and a bit more intimidating then the first. I am standing in front of my dorm, strong and proud...but if you look real close you can almost feel the terror in my eyes.

It's days like this, watching young freshmen wander campus hoping they don't look too lost that I remember what it was like to be alone and very lonely and very lost. I also find it interesting that within a very short time I felt like I owned this new place I called home. Now, part of the ache is the memory of times long gone when I thrived in this same place, when I felt as if this world was my universe and I the center. Now, I observe and study, amazed at how life has changed, how I have changed. How the world has formed me from that person to this.

So, the blues are here and they will pass, as they always do. It is the dawning of a new age, a new groups of almost adults chomping at the bit for freedom just as I was all those years ago. They years pass far to quickly and soon they are gone and we are what we had no idea we would become. We are different versions of the selves we knew. We are older, hopefully but not necessarily wiser. We are changed as only years can change something. As if the waters of time have done their duty by us, wearing away the edges, smoothing out the rough spots and leaving behind sometimes smooth and beautiful surfaces and sometimes plain, washed out shadowy hints of what was. I wonder what I have become?

As Elton John said:
"Don't wish it away. Don't look at it like it's forever. Between you and me, I can honestly say, that things could only get better. I guess that's why they call it the blues..."