It CAN happen to you...

I had a scare the other day...Can I tell you my story?

I met a man about 3 months ago. We met over plants at a nursery. He was very nice and charming and we seemed to hit it off well. I gave him my phone number. Never having done that before it was a risk. I was "excited and scared" to quote one of my favorite musicals.

We went on several dates over the last months, each one sharing more about ourselves, getting to know likes and dislikes, etc. The usual dating routine...everything seemed "normal" except for one aspect - I was just a tad bit uncomfortable with him and I couldn't figure out why. I thought it was me, maybe I was just being hypersensitive or reading into things, etc. I tried to let it go and just enjoy the attention, the affection, and all that comes with that "new man" feeling.

Our final date was Friday, July 9. Everything was fine until after dinner when he made an extremely suggestive and uncalled for comment and then proceeded to tell me that since I was "old and fat" I should appreciate that somebody was still willing to screw me. To be completely honest I would not have been surprised to see his head spin on his shoulders at that point! This was NOT the man I had gotten to know! I was baffled and confused and angry and...the list goes on and on.

When I told him he was getting nothing simply because he was being an ass the violence and anger kicked in. I had sense enough to leave the restaurant, to walk past people sitting in the restaurant, and to pull out my cell phone immediately.

Today? I am fine. I had a few bruises on my upper arms where he grabbed me and my back was sore the next morning from being tossed against the car when he tried to pin me down to argue with me. Beyond those minor physical discomforts, I am fine. It could have been much, MUCH worse. I am lucky and most certainly, my God was watching over me.

What did I learn? Have your phone handy. Do not be afraid to call out for help, people will rescue you. I should NOT have gotten back in the car with him to take me home. I could have called someone else. God does answer prayer and, as shocking as it can be, it can happen to you. At this point in my life I was certain no one would ever think of me in that way... now I realize there is no "that way." There is the right way to think about women and the wrong way. Some of us walk through life convinced that we are in a separate group from women who are sexually assaulted. Guess what? We are not. I now realize that any age is the right age for a sick mind; any weight, any height, any intellectual level...scary things like stupid people can happen to you at any time. Be alert. Take your gut reactions seriously. Think ahead to what you would do and keep a level head.

I learned one more thing, maybe even more important than those above. See these moments for what they are...times of challenge but not of distruction; times when you will be tested and friendships will prove or disprove themselves. I don't regret knowing this man. I took a calucated risk and I learned much about myself in the process. He tested my self-esteem in the end and I withstood the assult. I refuse to become bitter or angry, I refuse to let this one mans twisted perspective alter who I am. He doesn't know me. The people who talked me through this, they know me. My support system held me up in prayer and God has cleared my mind of the ugliness. I am still whole. I thank God for the experience, for seeing me safely to the otherside and for giving me the courage to act quickly and boldly. His angels were there.

So ladies, be aware, be smart, stay open and let Him give you the strength and courage to date, be open, and keep loving. Risk is scary and I am lucky. Others are not so lucky but we are still fearfully and wonderfully made. Respect that, treasure it, and protect that which makes you who you are. No man can destroy that unless you let them.