I know I told you that this year has started out great and it really has but today was a rough patch and I am being forced to remember some key ideas. Things like “be true to yourself,” and “trust yourself,” “trust that God knows what He’s doing,” and “you know you can trust that friend so relax and stop fretting!” are running through the front of my head today as I am constantly reminding myself of these things. They are like freshly poured cement, not yet set in my conscious being. I have realized that if I really recognize the me God has created and trust that He has given me all I need, I am a much freer person and can give myself more freely and completely to another. Sometimes the greater frustration is finding those who accept what I have to give; who see my nature as a gift and want to open the package and see what is “really” inside. Those people are fewer.

Speaking of “who we are,” I recently finished a book by Lisa Harper (What Every Girl Wants: A Portrait of Love and Intimacy in the Song of Solomon) which takes the reader through this beautiful book and explicates so much of what Solomon was saying. Not only is the book a fun “romp” through Song of Solomon, but it brought home to me some forgotten truths about God. This often misunderstood text seems pretty steamy to some and really, it is. It’s a love story! It’s a romance! It is a perfect metaphor for God and the believer. Not God and the church but God and you, God and me. Solomon talks about how beautiful his bride is and how much he adores and appreciates her. She speaks of her love in physical and almost erotic terms, revealing to the reader her joy in him, his talents, his gifts, his physical being. These lovers, Solomon and his bride, cling to each other. They are not coy nor do they play hard to get. They are straightforward and honest about their love for each other, never shying away from the other. They are overt in their adoration even to the extent that Solomon pursues her; he WANTS her to be his and makes it obvious to those in their acquaintance the state of his heart.

When you realize that metaphorically Solomon is God…what an awesome lover we have. The bride is often thought to be the church but Lisa Harper takes it one farther. Each individual human being is, themselves, the bride of Christ. Christ, like Solomon, pursues us, wants us for his own. He is unafraid to give us the love and affection we crave and asks for the same from us in return. We are encouraged to, unashamedly, embrace Him, cling to Him. How awesome, to be desired and pursued…

And now, for something totally different, a single woman is going to talk about marriage. Feel free to turn up the music…

As I read this I am reminded of the marriage vows women have struggled with through the years. The whole “love, honor, and obey” line. Now, I am a pretty progressive gal but I would never come close to being a feminist. In marriage a woman gives herself to a man. But it is so much more than that! We promise to love. Do we really know what that means? When the crap get tough, do we behave as if we still love that man or women we are bound to? THAT, the action of love, is what it’s about. Honor…what does that mean? Technically it is to revere or respect. Ha! We easily promise to revere and respect our spouse then we get drunk at the reception or we find fault with how she folds the towels…do we really know how to honor our spouses. So, we are quick to promise the first 2 items (where we quickly fail) and the third we argue about. What’s interesting is that to me, the third one should be easy if we, as God-fearing Christian women, have found the right man. Here’s the deal, we get so stuck on the word we forget that husbands are commanded (not asked but commanded) to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Think about Solomon above, the passion he displays in Song of Solomon, for his bride. You husband is to adore you, pursue you, give you every opportunity to cling to him as he clings to you. He is to provide for your needs, raise you up, pray for you, protect you, be your everything…as Christ is to His church. Not only does this require fortitude and great strength on the part of the husband, it requires wisdom, insight, faithfulness, recognition of your needs, the willingness to put your needs before his own. This is a husbands command.

If I find a man who can love me even 1/100th as much as Christ loves me, I will willingly promise to obey him! He has my best in mind, he wants only good things for me, and he will never willingly hurt me. So, as alone as I feel some days, my bridegroom is out there. He may not know that we are being prepared for each other but I cannot wait to meet him and experience his love for me. Or, if he is not an earthly bridegroom, I will prepare myself as best as I can for my meeting with Christ, the ultimate Bridegroom in heaven. Either way, it’s a pretty exciting prospect.